Rant

[bub]

Ok so I'm sitting at work, {not actually at work or on a work computer... I am reciting this from home... fing work police and acceptable internet use clause} hating my boss, {I love curley brackets... anyway I removed a bunch of negative language about my boss here just in case someone were to read it and know him/her and get me fucked}(Anyone know someone hiring Cisco tech ppl... or data center managers, preferably in the NW (Washington, Oregon, Montana, Idaho, Wyoming) or NW suburbs of Chicago including Rockford? Let me know... I so wish I was outa here)
Wow.... venting dosen't help... {more boss disparaging} Incompetence all around me breeds malaise for ole BUB.

I thought this post might be interesting for someone then I actually read it... Nope... nothing of concequence... kinda like a scentless quiet fart... why bother... let that thing rumble or make it SBD and kill a co-worker with it.... Play pull my finger.... can anyone say dutch oven.

So I spent all weekend in my basement building a guest bedroom because the wife is preggers and need a spare room for the mother in law to come and help out with the new critter after the thing pops out like the thing in the alien movies.

Right now Impalla hates me.... FLUFFA impalla... look I didn't capatlize your name or spell capitalize correctly.... ooohh the gramar police are on their way.... I think I used the wrong their there.... elipses abound... listen e.e. cummings can fuck with the english (note no capital) language then so can i... I claim curley brackets perentheses and elipses as my tagline... I'm the King of the Word!

Where the fuck was I? Ok so you know how hard it is to put up a 44" long triple 2x10 header up by yourself? NO? Ok try this... get a bowling ball (any size will do) stick your shrivled up marshmallow dick in the thumb hole... think of Bea Arthur naked till you get hard... pick up said bowling ball (no hands now)... spin around while thinking of Jessica Alba in a teeny tiny bikini so that you get soft .... the momentum should make that ball go a minimum 5 feet.... didn't make it... keep trying. (That analogy is dedicated to Push Eject... you the man)
Anyway... I will continue as I see fit.... BTW... I did get the header up there with only minimal herniation. Next rant .... drywall and insulation... fucking masochist I am...
BUB

[seanhagerty]

you whiner!

I bet you have to sit down to pee too!

[bub]

So I get all the studs up in the basement (not that kind Justin... crimeny) and it is time to put up some drywall... no biggie right? WTF you are reading a rant about it... it just went fine... retard of corse everything went wrong.
Your head explode yet impalla?
Yes my vagina is itching deal with it... you can read another post afterall... that's what I thought... I get more of an audience than Lunchmeet... OOOhhhhh in your face JP...
(Ok I can only imagine the response will garner, Oh well)
So I haul the 10 foot sheet of drywall down through the entire house and into the basement, didn't need that lamp anyway, {stick a beachball up my ass and blow it up 10' of drywall is heavy for a short fat dude} ok so I get it downstairs and apply to the wall... why do the screws keep poping out... OHHHHH cut holes for the boxes numbnuts... ok so now that is done.. time to haul second sheet to basement... remember aforementioned lamp... lamps have lightbulbs... lightbulbs are made of thin glass... thinglass breaks very easily... broken thin glass likes to migrate into the semi thick yet infinatly sensitive dermis covering of the feet... that hurts.... when breaking glass or working with tools, or your tool wear proper footwear mmm kay? Ok so I get the drywall to the basement leaving only a slightly bloody trail and lift it into place... "Honey.. sweety... snugglepup!... can you help me for a second?" So the wife comes down {wearing shoes none the less} and I have her gently push the 15" long hernia back in... "thanks i didn't really want the tail... ok now can you hold this drywall up here while I put some screws in it??" and she in that knowing wife way says... "where is the insulation?" BOB FUCKING VILA she is.... "Shut it" ... " you said you were going to insulate the wall" ... "No I think I said shut it" after all that and a bit more discussion I convinced the lovely half that that wall didn't really need insulation if all the others were insulated... trust me I'm right. I guess the good thing is that I was listening to TBN confrence recap during the time that I was growing a rectal tail.... good thing leather is washable cause the couch is fairly new and I'm still paying for it.
BUB

[JP]

Um ... well there you go.

[bub]

CHASE SUCKS!!
That's right CHASE SUCKS!
What you may say? Ok so I'm looking at my credit card bill and am like WTF 23.whatever% intrest! Ummm no... should be less than 7% that was the agreement I signed... and no late payment... WTF...
So I call 3 minute hold time... apparently they read a clock like Justin... 3=20 on hold... mmmmkay. Hey Douchebag... why did my interest rate go up like Justin's winkey at a bath-house?
"Ummm sir we sent you a notice in a seperate envelope that looked like junk mail so you would discard it without looking at it... and it said if you don't wan't your interest rate to go up to 23.oh my ass hurts percent you have to send us a letter and say no I don't want to be ass raped... you didn't send the letter"
"Uhh did you say anything like that on ohhhh say the statement that people actually look at?"
"Duhh no then you would actually take the offer and we wouldn't be able to give you some good ass-cowboy action."
Me... "Ahh I see...well if you would have read the post above my ass is already quite sore... lets fix this before I bleed to death out my colon... mmmkay?"
"Uhhh to do that sir we will have to close the account."
Astonished...."Ok so what is the problem with that.... CLOSE THE ACCOUNT BITCH... AND NOW BEFORE I EXANGUATE (misspelled term for bleed to death)"
"Um ok your account is closed to further charges...(great) is there anything else I can do to help you?"
"Let me think....Blow Job... NO.... Oh how about you retroactively roll back those interest charges that I failed to notice for 3 months... Hmmm can ya do that."
"No"
"I hereby invite you to go perform intercorse on yourself hobag."
Apparently she would rather not... also "we don't reverse finance charges"
"Do you have a good reference for a proctologist... my asshole is somewhere near the back of my knee."
"Nope"
"Goodbye"
"Have a nice day" as if that was possible.
BUB

[bub]

OK so I'm a douchebag... I decided to start a rant blog....
http://www.bubweb.com/blog
whatever.
BUB

[linuxelf]

Dude, Capital One did the exact same thing to me. Jumped me from 7% to 28.9%. When I called them they said "We don't really know why we bumped it up there. Huh. Want us to lower it again?" I told them that if they don't know why it was raised in the first place, then they have no way to predict when they may jump it back up there again in the future. When I noticed the rate was jumped up, I paid the entire balance in full, and the next month, got hit with interest for the money that wasn't there any more, but used to be there in the past. They said "that's perfectly normal. we always charge interest on the money that was there in the previous month." "Cancel the card." "We can lower your interest rate back down." "Cancel the card." "We can work with you on this." "I can get a better interest rate, and more predictable service borrowing money from the mafia. Cancel the card." "It's cancelled. Can we do anyth" Click

No Hassles card my ass

[Impalla]

Your head explode yet impalla?
BUB

Mommy, Mommy make the bad man stop!!!

-Impalla