15 Steps to become the Biggest Douche Bag at the GABF
Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 6:30 pm
You're the greatest craft beer drinker of them all. You've been telling your friends that for years. And now you're going to the Great American Beer Festival in Denver Colorado and you plan on impressing everyone with your knowledge, your good looks, your quick mouth and being the life of the party. But how do you ensure that everyone will remember you at the GABF? Easy. Just follow these simple steps and you can't go right, er wrong that is.
Becoming the Biggest Douchebag at the GABF in 15 Simple Steps
Step One - Get really wasted before you get to the convention center. You're going to be drinking all night, better warm up for it. Just be cool when going through security and they'll never know you're liquored up.
Step Two - Don't bother eating anything before you go. Liquid nourishment is all you need and your stomach is going to be full of liquid anyway. You'll need as much stomach space for beer as possible. You can always bum a pretzel off the nerds with the necklaces later.
Read the whole article here:
http://www.fermentedlychallenged.com/20 ... -gabf.html
Great stuff. Probably not as funny if you haven't been, but what I found particularly amusing (or sad, as it were) is the fact that I didn't have to try to think about any of those rules. There's so many douchebags doing every one of those things constantly. Hopefully the article makes it's way to at least a couple first-timers. Kinda makes me sad that I can't make it this year. 1st year I won't be attending since my 1st GABF.