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Limpic Stadium, Pacheco, CA (AP)
Famed homebrewer, beer drinker, and general A-Hole BUB (aka Boob) has reached higher and attained the impossible dream in the first Brewing Network Limpics. No he hasn't bagged the curling sisters (YET) he, in an amazing show of willpower and athleticism won the first 2 GOLD medals.
His first medal was in the bad beer chugging contest where he narrowly edged out Ziggy. "It's all in the dismount" said Brewcaster Justin, or was it JP? What do I care it was one of those whiney bitches. Ziggy chose a badly oxidized Russian Imperial Stout (11%) and downed a pint in 7 seconds but just didn't sell it in the end. BUB chose a unidentified dark beer from Berghoff that was warm and in his basement for 4-5 years. "It even has a rusty cap." said BUB. BUB was able to down the alleged beer in 6 seconds and was on the verge of returning it to the toilet. "The fact that BUB almost puked during the belch really sold it to the judges." stated an unnamed source. (ok I made that up)
BUB's second medal came in the Long Pee as all other competators were scared away from the competition. "I trained for hours drinking water, I had over a gallon in the hour before the show." said our glorious hero. Below is a picture from the awards ceremony.
