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 Post subject: Re: What Occupations Does Everyone Have?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 12:35 pm 
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Sales, service, and distribution associate for the United States Postal Service in the heart of Hop Country.


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 Post subject: Re: What Occupations Does Everyone Have?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 12:45 pm 
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Project Engineer in Product Development and R&D. Just another enginerd...

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 Post subject: Re: What Occupations Does Everyone Have?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 5:39 pm 
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captain carrot wrote:
snowcapt wrote:
Yep. I will put it up when I write the final draft. It is due Tues. the 10th. It is almost done, though. Just need to polish the rough edges.

Are you still polishing? :nutters:

Not sure how to attach the document, but here it is. Just copied and pasted. Some peer feedback on the end, too. I got an A on it, and it was finals week and all that shit. I hope you like it.
Final
Alpha-amylase, beta-amylase, flocculation, and attenuation, these words may mean nothing to you, but they are very important, to me. Before stepping into the world of home brewing beer, I had never seen these terms, but now, I am quite fond of them all.
The world of home brewing is quite extensive, believe it or not. We even have an army, the BN Army. We have all had different experiences, to be sure, but the thing that we all have in common is a passion for good beer. Laugh as you may, but I take beer very, very, seriously.
The main reason I got into it, is the fact that I live in the middle of nowhere (Alexandria, MN), and it is damn near impossible to find a good beer around here. There are exceptions, but they are few and far between. So, I decided to do the natural thing and I started brewing beer again.
I have worked at three breweries in my travels, Pyramid Brewery in Sacramento, Rubicon Brewery, also in Sac-town, and Sudwerk (pronounced sood-verk) in Davis, California. I worked as a cook, but I constantly pestered the brewers for insight and free yeast.
The first time I ever brewed was in 1996 in Mankato, MN. I made an Australian Stout, and it turned out fantastic. The smell of fresh hops wafting through the house is next to divinity. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I could produce such a complex beverage that was absolutely nirvana on the palate.
It took a few years for me to get back into it, but eventually the yeasties came calling. I now brew at least a couple of times a week, five gallons at a time. The beers that I am producing, are coming out great. I even entered a couple in a competition in St. Cloud. The results are not in yet, but I think I will do well. At least I will get some honest feedback. Honest feedback is hard to come by when you are supplying all of your friends with free beer!
Anyways, the thing that really gets me is how complex brewing chemistry is. I never thought I would be using words like flocculate, attenuate, and a whole plethora (that one is for you, Tina) of other smart sounding words, and I actually understand what they mean. Dear lord, I’ve become a bonified beer-nerd.
After getting a little bit deeper into the craft of home brewing, I found that there are many others out there that have the same problem- crap beer and no escape from it. Beer is beginning a phase of being pined over like wine. More people want better beer, these days. Don’t you?
The fellowship of home brewers is amazing. There are several forums and websites. In fact the largest homebrew supplier in the United States is in St Paul, Minnesota. Northern Brewer has supplied home brewers with everything they need for almost twenty-five years.
The level of quality keeps getting better, through new innovations and superior ingredients. One man leading the way in homebrew gadgetry is a man by the name of John Blichmann. He makes some pretty amazing things for us home brewers. He started out doing the same thing that I am doing, brewing five gallon batches. He now owns a huge company that makes many things utilized in brewing beer.
Another huge influence and presence in the brewing world is a man named Jamil Zainascheff, aka The Pope, aka Mr. Malty. He is a genius when it comes to all things homebrew. He even co-wrote a book about yeast, of all things. I just can’t believe the fact that I can now read and understand what the hell he is talking about
Jamil has a couple of radio shows on www.thebrewingnetwork.com, one of which is called, “Can You Brew It?” The premise of the show is brewing commercial beers that listeners request be cloned. There are a few personalities and you can even call in live and talk to him and pick his brain.
The program that I like the best is called “The Sunday Session”. The “session” is a mish-mash of all things beer. Mike “Tasty” McDole is one of the hosts and he is another of the most knowledgeable people in the world of craft beers. Many people use his recipes because they are so good. One of the best beers that he makes and shares is a beer called “Janet’s Brown”. I don’t know the whole story behind it, but from what I understand he named it after his wife, that died. It was her favorite beer that he made and he keeps making it and so do many homebrews.
I never thought that getting into a hobby like this, would open so many doors to so many places. I think the best thing about it (other than the beer), is the camaraderie amongst brewers. One would think that they would guard their cherished recipes, but the exact opposite is true. I am even going to be exchanging some beers with a guy from Shreveport, Louisiana, because we have talked about each other’s recipes and we want to try each others’ beers.
What a great hobby to get into. I started out thinking that I would save a bit of cash, but once the bug gets you, you just got have the next thing to make your brew life easier. Mt latest purchase was a 7.2 cubic foot freezer that I put a temp controller on to keep temps where I want them to be. This freezer is now home to my five kegs that I have in there. Yes, it is a great, rewarding hobby.
Feedback
I was really impressed with your story. You were very informative and I liked how you gave a lot of facts and back round. I have to admit that this is a very unique hobby. I definitely didn’t expect to be reading a story about home brewing, but you did a really good job with it. I enjoy reading about different topics; it’s nice to have something unique from the rest of the norm. It flowed really well and your transitions went smoothly. I like how I can tell you really like brewing. I can tell how passionate and enthusiastic you are about it just by your writing and I think that that’s important for the reader. I get annoyed when you can tell that the author isn’t that interested in their topic, but you didn’t do that. And I think it takes a lot of talent to do so. Your descriptive words were well done, and you’re right, alpha-amylase and beta-amylase don’t really mean anything to me. I would just do another spell check for your final. I also liked your humor in the story. It gives the story more diversity and that’s always a good thing to have. Nicely done job!
My brother is a beer snob so I have a soft spot for home brewers. It really is an art form if you are passionate about the process and the final product. Just a couple of places could use a little polishing in the word selection or in punctuation. For example instead of” turning out” – maybe use produced – like “The beers that I am producing are turning out great.” Another would be in “one man leading the way in homebrew gadgetry is a man (this man could be removed)” It could read like, “One man leading the way in homebrew gadgetry is a fellow beer nerd (or snob) by the name of John Blichmann.” Have you ever heard of a better last name for a home brewer? I like how it’s like you are talking to the reader and not talking down to them. All I can say is read it out loud. First time through just as you’ve written it and pause where there’s punctuation. Second time think about word use and placement and revise the punctuation to flow with reading. Thank you for sharing and good luck.

Who doesn't like a great beer?! I think all men dream of doing a home brewery. It's sounds like you are quite good at it and have had great success. Your story is very informative and that's good. Maybe for your next draft try beginning by telling us about your first attempt at making beer. The atmosphere, the scents, the mistakes, or maybe your giddy school boy grin. These can make us as readers into your experience and love for making beer.
Read your story aloud to hear any mistakes or things that can be revised. You have great humor in your story. I think by adding more story to the information will captivate your readers more. Keep up the great brewing! Cheers.


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 Post subject: Re: What Occupations Does Everyone Have?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 5:58 pm 
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Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:07 pm
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Location: Ingleside Illinois
Are there any demographic results based on the responses you got?

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 Post subject: Re: What Occupations Does Everyone Have?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 6:12 pm 
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captain carrot wrote:
Are there any demographic results based on the responses you got?

As in ages and locations? Nope. Just what was posted here. Could have been written better, but it made the grade. Plenty of writing classes coming up, still. Technical writing this semester. Hopefully, I cn bang something out like aj does!


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 Post subject: Re: What Occupations Does Everyone Have?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 6:25 pm 
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Location: Ingleside Illinois
snowcapt wrote:
captain carrot wrote:
Are there any demographic results based on the responses you got?

As in ages and locations? Nope. Just what was posted here. Could have been written better, but it made the grade. Plenty of writing classes coming up, still. Technical writing this semester. Hopefully, I cn bang something out like aj does!

More curious to know based on career. Like responded. Good Luck! :jnj

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 Post subject: Re: What Occupations Does Everyone Have?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2011 9:14 pm 
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Location: Upper Michigan
Surprisingly, I did very well in technical writing courses when I was in college. I think you'll like it.

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If you take what I post here literally, you're retarded. I'm here to fuck around, have a good time, and learn about beer. You mean nothing to me and I mean nothing to you.


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 Post subject: Re: What Occupations Does Everyone Have?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2011 11:20 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 25, 2011 10:05 am
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Location: Springboro, Ohio
Professional IT Contractor/Consultant.. Mostly top tier infrastructure.

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